Compassionate Care: Celebrating Special Occasions with a Loved One Who Has Dementia
When someone you love is living with dementia, birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions can stir up complicated emotions. You might feel uncertain: Should we celebrate the same way? Will they enjoy it? Will they even understand what day it is?
The answer is: Yes—you can still celebrate.
But how you celebrate may need to shift.
Special occasions don’t need to be elaborate or perfectly remembered to be meaningful. In fact, smaller, calmer, and more sensory-friendly moments can bring more joy than big, traditional celebrations.
In this post, we’ll explore how to gently and meaningfully celebrate special occasions with a loved one who has dementia—so you can preserve connection, spark joy, and make new memories, even in the middle of change.
🎈 Why Celebrations Still Matter
Even if your loved one doesn’t understand the significance of a specific date, the feeling of being cherished, included, and joyful still matters deeply.
Celebrations offer:
- Familiar sights and sounds (candles, music, decorations)
- Connection with family or caregivers
- Moments of pleasure and laughter
- A reminder that they are loved, not forgotten
And for you—the caregiver or family member—these occasions can be a chance to slow down and remember who they are beyond the disease.
🕊 Tips for Celebrating with Care and Calm
🧠 1. Keep It Simple and Familiar
Avoid overwhelming gatherings. Instead, focus on:
- A small celebration with just a few people
- Familiar foods or music they’ve always loved
- One activity they still enjoy—like opening a card, blowing out candles, or singing along
📌 Example: Instead of a full Thanksgiving dinner with 15 people, consider a cozy plate of their favorite dish, soft music, and a one-on-one visit.
🧩 2. Prioritize the Feeling, Not the Details
They may not remember it’s their birthday. That’s okay. What they’ll remember is how the moment felt:
- Did they feel safe?
- Did they laugh or smile?
- Did someone hold their hand, play their favorite song, or bring them something warm and comforting?
📌 Tip: Try not to correct or quiz them about the occasion. Simply celebrate with kindness and presence.
🎁 3. Give Sensory-Friendly Gifts
Choose gifts that bring comfort and ease rather than confusion:
- A soft blanket in their favorite color
- A photo album with labeled pictures
- A stuffed animal or fidget blanket
- A playlist of favorite songs
- A cozy robe, slippers, or hand cream in a familiar scent
📌 Avoid: Complicated electronics, books with difficult text, or anything that might require instructions.
🖼 4. Use Photos and Music to Spark Memory
Celebrations are a great time to bring out:
- Old photo albums or framed pictures
- Home videos (if not overwhelming)
- Favorite songs from their childhood or young adulthood
These cues can bring your loved one into the moment, even if they can’t recall the past clearly.
📌 Tip: Play music softly during the celebration to set a calm and happy tone.
⏳ 5. Celebrate at the Time That Works Best for Them
If your loved one is sharper or more relaxed in the morning or early afternoon, consider celebrating then. Many people with dementia experience sundowning (agitation or confusion in the evening), so earlier is often better.
📌 Tip: You don’t have to celebrate on the exact day. What matters is how you show up, not the calendar date.
💬 6. Include Them in Simple Preparations (If Possible)
Let them help:
- Stir the cake batter
- Pick out a party napkin
- Choose a song to play
- Fold cards or tie ribbons
Even small involvement helps them feel connected and gives them a sense of purpose.
🌟 Special Occasions to Consider Celebrating
- Birthdays
- Wedding anniversaries
- Favorite holidays (in adapted, low-stress ways)
- “Gotcha days” or move-in anniversaries (for care homes)
- Celebrating a caregiver’s birthday or grandchild’s milestone together
You might even make up your own traditions—like “pajama pancake day” or “garden tea Tuesday.”
💙 Final Thoughts: Celebrate the Spirit, Not the Schedule
Dementia may change your loved one’s memory of the past or awareness of the present—but it doesn’t take away their ability to feel love, joy, and connection in the now.
So keep celebrating. Not because they’ll remember it later, but because they’ll feel it now—and so will you.
At Compassionate Care, we believe every moment of connection matters, especially when the path is hard. Small joys are still real joys.
