Compassionate Care: “I Want to Go Home” — Understanding and Responding with Compassion
One of the most heart-wrenching things a caregiver can hear is,
“I want to go home.”
It can happen while sitting in their favorite chair, surrounded by familiar things.
It can happen at a care facility or even during a visit with family.
Wherever it happens, it hits hard.
You might want to say, “You are home,”
Or try to explain all the reasons they’re safe and okay.
But dementia isn’t always about facts — it’s about feelings.
And when someone says they want to go home, what they often mean is something deeper.
In this post, we’ll explore:
- What “home” really means in dementia
- Why this request shows up again and again
- How to respond with comfort, not correction
- Gentle strategies for emotional reassurance
🧠 What “Home” Means in Dementia
For someone with dementia, the word “home” rarely refers to a specific place.
It’s more likely tied to:
- A feeling of safety and comfort
- A memory of earlier life (often childhood or young adulthood)
- A longing for familiarity and control in a confusing world
They may be seeking a time when life made sense — when they had a routine, a role, and clear surroundings.
They might not mean the physical address at all.
💬 How to Respond to “I Want to Go Home”
The instinct may be to correct: “But you are home.”
But that rarely soothes the distress. It may even make them more anxious.
Instead, try meeting the emotion — not the logic.
You can say:
- “Tell me about home — what do you remember most?”
- “Home sounds really nice. What’s your favorite room there?”
- “That sounds like a special place. I’d love to hear more.”
Let them reminisce. Let them describe what home meant.
That moment of storytelling may provide the calm they were really looking for.
🛠 Gentle Strategies to Help Reassure
✅ 1. Acknowledge the Feeling
Use calm, validating words:
“I hear you. I know it feels like something’s missing right now.”
You don’t need to explain. You just need to be with them.
✅ 2. Shift the Environment
Sometimes a walk to another room, a change in activity, or a favorite snack can reset their emotional state.
Try:
- Playing soothing music
- Looking at family photos
- Folding towels together
- Stepping outside for fresh air
These aren’t distractions — they’re gentle redirections grounded in dignity.
✅ 3. Create a “Memory Corner”
A small space with cozy items (pillows, a blanket, a familiar photo, a book) can help them feel “at home” in the moment — wherever they are.
✅ 4. Reassure with Rhythm
Touch their hand. Rock gently. Speak softly.
The brain responds to rhythm even when memory falters.
🩵 When It Happens Often
If your loved one asks to go home every day — or many times a day — you’re not doing anything wrong.
Repetition is part of the disease. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed to comfort them.
Sometimes it’s just a loop their brain gets stuck in.
You are doing your best — and that’s more than enough.
Give yourself grace. This is not easy work.
🌟 Final Thoughts: Home Is a Feeling
When someone with dementia says “I want to go home,” they’re asking for safety. For familiarity. For peace.
You don’t have to bring back the past.
You just have to offer comfort in the present.
At Compassionate Care, we believe that home can be a place, a moment, or a person.
And every time you respond with warmth, you become a little bit of home for them.
Even if they don’t know where they are…
Even if they don’t know who you are…
They will know this:
“I am not alone. Someone loves me. I feel safe.”
And that is everything.
